Christmas is upon us! The vaccine is being rolled out, tier 4 has been announced, two new virus strains exist and there is widespread flooding. Merry Christmas everybody!! The positive news is that we have just passed the shortest day, at least here in the UK, which means we have turned a corner and are now speeding towards Spring which can only be a good thing. Admittedly it doesn't look like it, as I write this at midday on a Wednesday I would be forgiven for thinking it was in fact midnight.
It has been a ridiculous and AWFUL year in many respects although I am lucky to be able to say that there has been some pretty good stuff mixed in there too. I will be reflecting on these things over the next week, making a point not to beat myself up at any point as is customary for me around this time of year.
Dilating Progress
It is with a smug face that I reveal that I have managed to continue dilating regularly. For one whole week! I'm extremely smug about this, I'm always so happy when I manage to do what I actually said I would. I stuck to my plan of dilating every other day (more or less..) and it has gone well. No dramatic improvements but no really bad days either. I'm pretty happy with where I am at the moment. Yes, I've lost a bit of ground due to my extended break but I know I can make that up and I'm sure it will be quite quick, since I know I've done it before.
There isn't much of a secret to my success this week, it's all stuff that I've revealed before like using breathwork, arousal, taking my time, enjoying the sessions and accepting them for what they are (which admittedly is much easier when they are good sessions..).
One thing I have focused on this week is taking my time with the removal of the dilator. If you have read my posts before you may remember that this is something I have struggled to do painlessly, until a few months ago. I realised that I wasn't spending enough time focusing on removing it carefully as I was on inserting it carefully. I've learned some good angles for removal and I've been really exaggerating how long it takes to remove. I want to get really confident with it being literally pain free, which is totally achievable as long as I take my time and focus.
Something I am NOT happy about is just how cold the lube gets at this time of year. Normally it doesn't take long to warm up to body temperature but I think I might need to microwave it or something first to avoid that cold shock! Or just rub it between my hands and be less melodramatic about it..
Looking ahead to next week:
When I'm not consuming my own body weight in mince pies and wine, I will be focusing on my dilating. I'm going to try to pick the regularity up a bit since I won't be doing a whole lot of work. I'm also going to try to take some time to try out the new lubes I got last month, which I didn't get very far with before I took my long break.
I may even stretch to making some more vulva art! It's been too long. There aren't enough painted vulvas in my life right now, and none of them have Santa hats. THIS MUST BE FIXED.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and please stay safe! Take a break from vaginismus if you need to, it's a marathon not a sprint.
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